Writing is one of the few professions out there in which rejection is an everyday–and sometimes every minute–occurrence. I figure that’s the tradeoff for getting to spend your days cozied up to a computer, tapping out tales. If that’s the case, then I’ll take my rejection and eat it too. But I’ve still got to deal with it. All writers do. The question is, How?

I hear lots of writers say that you’ve got to be thick-skinned to endure the deluge of rejection that litters your manuscript’s journey from hard drive to hard cover. I agree, as long as thick skinned means resilient. All too often, thick skin gets confused with a hard heart. That is, writers become so “tough” that they’re hearts become hard and they grow cynical. Cynicism takes many forms, like anger toward agents, a complete lack of faith in the publishing industry, and the despairing belief that one will never get published. How do I know this? Let’s be real. I’ve been there, bought the t-shirt. But I had to overcome all of those thoughts–and many others–if I wanted to truly become rejection tough.

I’ve found that the key to becoming rejection tough is to to let the rejection sting and to push through the sting. I know, it sounds counterintuitive, to let yourself feel any degree of pain. But it’s this pain from rejection that keeps you humble and, if you allow, it pushes you deeper into your pursuit. When experiencing rejection heartache, it’s important not to wallow. And NEVER allow feelings of rejection to keep you from writing. Keep going, and trust that the pain will fade.

Basically, make like an olympic ice skater. When you fall, get up, and keep moving to the music. You can cry when the performance is over, but you better show up on time for practice the next day if you’re going to try for gold again.

Remember, a feeling heart is necessary for any form of artistic expression, and fiction writing is an artistic expression for many writers. You can’t, and shouldn’t turn your heart off, no matter how much rejection you experience. As paradoxical as it sounds, if you want to survive in this profession, you’ve to get strong and stay soft.

Also, keep in mind that you’re not alone in your rejection. Here is a list of some of the most initially rejected best selling books of all time. Some of these books have 100+ rejections! Imagine if these authors had stopped writing at rejection number 99.

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